When “Shrinkage” finally works in your favour 🥳

As Ava Max sings it so well -

To all of the queens who are fighting alone, Baby, you're not dancing on your own.

This one’s going to be short and sweet — or maybe sour, I haven’t decided yet. It’s been a ride, let me tell you. But here I am, still standing, mascara slightly smudged but spirit mostly intact. 

I’ve got some good news to kick things off — my latest MRI showed that my uninvited guest is finally packing its bags. Apparently, that kind of thing takes a while to show up, so the fact that it did? Huge. Like, pop-the-champagne huge. 🍾Shrinkage is a good thing, people.

A Welcome Bunny Hole

When my Captain knows exactly what I need. He spotted this magazine and thought, “She’ll love this.” And he was right — it’s one of my faves, and I’ve been itching for a new issue. Gold star for him. ⭐

When I'm feeling creative, but have zero energy to put it to good use, flipping through these pages helps keep the spark ignited. 

Think about something you love to do but just can’t get to it right now. Then go fall down a glorious internet bunny hole — read, scroll, swoon, and get yourself hyped for when you’re ready. 

Enter opportunity. You know that saying, “When one door closes— or in my case, slams fucking shut—another window opens”?  Well, my lovelies, the universe just dropped something in my lap, and I’m glowing—way brighter than any radiation beam. Stay tuned.

While I've been thinking about painting, I've not had the energy to get down and dirty with it. But this isn't stopping me from designing my next piece. 

This one will be personal. Personal in that it will representational of my journey. I already have a rough sketch drawn out (in my mind lol)

'Tis the season

Keeping yourself happy is key. And I've been buying all kinds of Christmas stuff on Amazon. I typically do this first thing in the morning when I'm most spry 😉

I know I’m in the minority here, but I love the holiday shopping madness — the crowds, the sparkle, the hunt for the perfect gift. Pure joy for this weirdo ❤️ But hey, there’s always next year!

Back to the Topic at Hand

The past two weeks have been all about sleep, snacks, and sheer willpower not to vomit. A true wellness retreat, if you squint hard enough.

Fasting for the MRI turned me into the weakest version of myself — basically a wilted flower with attitude. 

Then my Diverticulitis thought, “Hey, remember me?” Cue a lovely trip to the ER. It stalled radiation for a few rounds, but I’m back on track and moving forward. 💪

Let’s take a quick detour back to the MRI—another classic advocacy moment. While I was there, they asked if it was okay to insert gel via a catheter to get more depth in the images—kind of like the liquid they sometimes inject through an IV.

Hmmm… I generally try to do what’s expected of me, but there are limits. I told the nurse I have vaginal cancer (not the time for “cooch cancer”) and that I’ve already had 18 rounds of radiation—so yeah, it’s a delicate area. I politely declined this extra step to save my bits.

They were running through the usual questions when things went slightly off-script —

Nurse: Do you have any shrapnel or bullets lodged in your body?

Me: No. But I could use a bullet to the head right about now.

Ready for another one?

My oncologist was away for our weekly visit. However, I did see her prior to her leaving and she did a quick visual exam of my pelvic area. even though I've had so many bouts of radiation already, my skin has managed to stay intact. 

Her covering physician requested to do another visual:

Doctor: Let's do a pelvic exam today.

Me: Why?

Doctor: To see how things are.

Me: My oncologist specifically examined me prior to her leaving for that reason. Things are progressing nicely, I'm to keep doing what I'm doing and she was to tell you it didn't needed repeating.

No exam was performed. This is my circus, and these are my monkeys. I’ll always do what’s best for me—but that doesn’t mean I’m signing up for everything they ask. Be your own advocate. Are we clear?

I'll see you in the next episode of "What fresh Hell is this?" I've no idea what it'll bring, but I'm fairly confident it'll bring a good dose of sass with a chaser of sarcasm. Until then, my lovelies!

Cheers! 🍷