Fire, Satan and Snarky Hot Merch 🔥

Have you forgotten about me?! 😉 It feels like it’s been centuries since I’ve had a minute to sit down and spill the latest chaos. So grab a drink, wrap yourself in something soft, and dive right in.

It’s going to be fast and dirty today because I’ve got to get myself ready to head to Toronto with my Captain for what is, unbelievably, one of the final legs of this whole cancer-fuelled circus. 🙊 (Sorry for the ramblings and grammatical poorness lol)

STOP. DROP. ROLL.

Last Thursday, November 20, I had my first Brachy treatment — and wow, what a circus. Six hours of prep, poking, prodding, and hospital “glamour” for a whopping ten minutes of actual radiation. Two hours of pre-op, and while I was out cold, they slid me into an MRI, took every measurement known to mankind, and installed a cylinder around the tumor like they were outfitting me with aftermarket parts.

Then came the tiny needles straight into the tumor — truly next-level, hands-on “are we serious right now?” radiation. And once that ordeal wrapped, I got to spend another two hours recovering, because apparently my body needed a cooldown after starring in its own medical horror spin-off. 

The treatment itself was fluid and straightforward. The medical team was the best of the best and I've no complaints. Other than the aftermath...

Let me try to explain the pain that came with that treatment. I thought the worst pain I’d ever felt was the classic “burning while peeing” — you know, that charming lava-flow-across-the-lady-bits situation. But this? This was different. This was pain from deep inside, like someone lit a match in my pelvic soul. It eased up by the next day… but of course, the next day I had to haul myself to Kingston for an external round of radiation.

And THAT is when I felt like I’d been seated directly beside Satan himself — front row, VIP access — with the kind of burning that makes you question every life choice that led you to that moment.

This is about me. For me.

It's time for a decision to be made. The amount of fire I felt after the external radiation post Brachy, is something that I cannot and WILL NOT allow myself to ever feel again. You know what I'm gonna say. BE. YOUR. OWN. ADVOCATE. (Be sure you read to the end, I have a sweet surprise for you!)

To clarify, I should have been done radiation by the time Bracky rolled around, but because I had been too ill a few times to undergo treatment, they tack them on to the end. What I don't think they do, is think about the pain this will cause the patient. I'll ask that question tomorrow. The radiation that I need is to focus on my node area, as precaution. 

I'll be talking with the oncologist tomorrow morning to ask a few questions. I'll be admitted at 7am, put under, undergo the procedure as mentioned above, and will be a guest at Sunnybrook, to await the next day's repeat treatment. 

My questions:

1. How important are those last three radiations sessions versus the pain it causes me; and can we eliminate them. 

2. A catheter is put it for bracky so maybe we keep it in for a couple of weeks until I've recovered from the inferno that will be my cooch. 

So here's the FUN part to all this! My Squeaky AF and Be Your Own Advocate, among other roll off your tongue snark are being made into sassy merch! 🥳

I'm setting up a shop that will have hoodies, shirts, mugs, caps, journals, you name it! I'll have sales where proceeds will go directly to funding for cooch cancer and other oddball cancers. THEY need the squeaky fucking wheel and WE are the ones to squeaky it! 🤸🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️

I'll be messing around with various colours, designs, snarky messages .. all the fun things. 

SOMETHING good has to come from this! Yes, coming out the other side is the best prize ever. But let's build on something to help awareness even further. I'm getting a multitude of cooch references swirling around my head 💫🩵🍷

It's a GORGEOUS day to kick cancer's ass ❤️

Once I'm back home, in recovery, I'll be setting up my shop and will share every exciting detail with you! And of course, my brushes have been whispering to the point that they're almost bellowing now! I'll be showing them some love, as well.

I apologize for the craziness of this post, my mind is all over the place as you can imagine. I never did get to talk about the nausea that was a constant in my life. Now that Chemo is officially over, that has passed and I'm beyond grateful.  

Once my mind settles a bit I'll be back with more deets on the merch and hopefully they'll be ready to order. I need to order samples to ensure the quality suits our needs ❤️

Stay tuned for the next episode of "What Fresh Hell is this?" I'll bring you up to speed on how the final radiation went down and if it came to blows. I hope to have more merch for you to choose from and see where this all leads too.

Thanks for always being there. Cheers my lovelies 🍷